Sleepovers, Scares and Staying at a Hotel

Well, people, it’s been a while…

 

I’m blogging from my study cave. (Yes, you read me right. Studying. In July… but don’t be sad for me, I literally started studying today. I’m okay, and procrastinating healthily while blogging) The time has come to prepare myself for the PCAT… a test that will probably define my whole future, but no big deal! *laughs nervously*

Being an adult is scary. I’m not even kidding, I haven’t been more nervous than the night I applied to take the PCAT. It’s not that bad, though. I don’t exactly have to get up early, which means I can work with my schedule, and I plan on studying with my friends. My vacations haven’t exactly been uneventful. I got really scared for a week or two while I didn’t know if I would have to get surgery… If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that it was, thankfully, a false alarm, and I got off with a December appointment and an order to exercise and eat better… (bye bye, pizza weekends!) … Right after I got that order I went to an hotel and basically broke that rule for two whole days, but I was saying goodbye! Don’t judge! 😀

 

(Yes, that’s my hair. Yes, that’s Graceling, AKA my favorite book in the whole world) I posted most of my pictures/videos on Snapchat (fearlesslynat, like the blog, just in case you were wondering :D)

These past days were amazing… And they weren’t the only thing I’ve done this summer! I finally had my first sleepover at María‘s on her birthday, and it was fairly one of the best days ever 🙂

 

 

 

Now that I told you about everything that has happened, more or less, I guess I can also tell you about movies/books/tv shows, right?

A month ago I told you I was watching Les Interpretes, right? It had a kind of disappointing ending, to be honest. It had such a promising beginning, and it had to end like that… *groans*. I wasn’t expecting more of the other one I was watching, which was good, because the ending wasn’t good, either. That’s why I ended up watching Descendants of the Sun… twice. Now I’m watching Beautiful Mind, Doctors and Lucky Romance… which are good… so far. I am up to date with Game of Thrones as well, which means I can read Pat‘s posts without fear of spoilers. Life is good, really.

I’ve also tried to catch up with my reading… but I only read Lady Midnight (I finished it!!) and started Graceling. I’m waiting for my friend to give A Court of Mist and Fury to me… I’m really excited about it because (1) Sarah J. Maas, duh. and (2) IT’S SIGNED! Which is basically a dream come true… although I still want to meet her someday.

Anyway, I think this was a nice update, and hopefully I’ll meet you again soon while I try to distract myself from Biology and *shudders* organic chemistry… *waves*

New y- semester, new me!

Greetings, Earthlings (I’ve officially ran out of ways to greet you, guys. I need to brainstorm)

I haven’t seen you all since… my birthday, isn’t it?

The truth is… that not much has happened since then. This Christmas was bound to be kind of hard because of all the things that happened last year, but life goes on! *shrugs*. I did spend my whole break at home watching Netflix (I finished Buffy! That’s something! I’m still behind on House of Cards and Merlin, so shh with the spoilers!) and movies (like Star Wars. I still have to watch the original trilogy, Episodes VI and VII. I need TIME!). I didn’t read much, except for rereading the Shatter Me trilogy and the Throne of Glass books… I did go out with my friends on a hike. It was fun, but my legs hurt like crazy for the next week or so. Exercising this year is a MUST!

(When did WordPress create this collage thing, anyway? It is so cool!)

I guess the thing that changed the most was the fact that I decided to change my study (and general) habits for the better. I know, I know, I always say this. There’s always a start, and this is mine. I won’t take Physics this semester, but I’ll take Developmental Biology… which apparently is kind of hard? I’m hoping I can survive and live to tell the tale, like I always end up doing with you all, my dear followers. Hopefully I’ll get to blog more as I keep getting used to how life is happening.

Anyway, I have to go. Uni starts tomorrow, even though I’m in this huge denial pit.

*hugs*

Nat

Some burned CDs and a map.

For assignment #4 of Writing101 we had to write a story –or anything we wanted, really, based on any of these four pictures:

I decided on the map. For a while I wanted to choose the city and write about my own experience, but I wanted something different, so I wrote a short “story” about a road trip… (I wouldn’t call it a story, but I had fun! I wish I can do this someday :D)

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We decided to go on a day-long road trip. But it was not a normal road trip, not how it’s done these days. We forbid the use of any cellphones, cameras or any technological device –apart from the car and the radio, of course. Our phones would be here, off, in case of emergency, but not within our reach –We just wanted to enjoy our day, isolated from everyone else, without checking in anywhere. Someone suggested it to us, and it sounded like such a fun idea, so we went in for it! We did not know how long it would take, not without the GPS we were so used to have… So we bought a road map and began to trace our route. The road trip had not started yet –we did NOT cheat! –so we found some places to visit on Google.

At first we were so confused. How would we able to even find where we wanted to go on this tangle of roads and places without Google after we turned our phones off? We would surely get lost… And we wouldn’t be able to call anyone for help unless it was absolutely necessary. That was rule #1. But then we started figuring everything out; we found familiar places to work with, and marked the ones we wanted to visit and the most likely routes we would use. We chose places where we would do some sightseeing, and a beautiful beach where we planned to spend some hours at. Burning some CDs with the music we wanted was a must. We made hours-long playlists with all our favorite songs and organized them so no one would have more than the others.

After three whole days of planning and getting supplies, the day finally came. We got into our car and began driving with our trusting map. Sadly, or not so, we don’t have any photographic evidence of the beautiful places we visited or the fun we had, but they’re all there, imprinted in our memories. The evidence is there, in our skins, burned with the sun… in our smiles, that haven’t left our mouths even a week after the trip. We had an amazing experience, and we’re the only ones who know all about it.

Here’s to Blogging 101… and New Friends!! :)

Blogging 101 is over, guys. It’s sad, but everything must end sometime, right? It was one of the best experiences I have ever had.

Something to have in perspective: I gained more views/followers this past month than the ones I did on 2014. Granted, I began blogging in August, but still, it’s something to consider. Having feedback from other bloggers made me realize that I have my own writing style, and that some people are actually willing to listen to what I want to say.

My blog also looks way better! 😉

A lot of my fellow bloggers followed every single one of the assignments (Something I sadly couldn’t do), and won lots of followers! I want to congratulate them. I did get some myself. I feel good, I feel… accomplished, even if I do have a long way to go.

I learned so much during these past few days. I met lots of amazing people that I will definitely keep in touch with, and became a better blogger because of them. (I want to believe that)

I also want to acknowledge some of the best people I met during Blogging 101. They were always there to support me, and to give me some much needed feedback. My new friends:

• Sam Rappaz
• Desley Jane
• Faraday’s Candle (I must admit I read it like “castle” the first time I saw their UN)
• My Lost Lexicon
• A Girl in Glasses
• Jonathan

… And many others that I sadly can’t remember right now!! Last month was amazing thanks to all of you. I hope you stay here and that we all get to read more of each other’s writing… ❤

LoveLoveLove,

Nat x

Endings.

Hello, everyone! 

I just wanted to update my blog with something, I don’t know. This has been in my mind, and I don’t know how Glee started all this thinking, but it did. I guess that it was like a chain reaction. Everything has an ending, and I wanted to blog about that. (You might think it’s depressing, but it is not. In fact, thinking like this makes me want to live more.)

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As you probably know, this is Glee’s final season, and it is kind of sad to know it will be over soon. Glee has been a part of my life for a while now and I will miss it, even if it derailed from its original roots. Glee’s one of the only things that remain from my early teenage years, when I was starting to find a place to fit in, and it felt good to know that it was possible to find friends in the weirdest places, and that it’s okay if they’re different.

My teenage years are soon to be over, and even if I did not party, drink or did other things all the time, I can’t say I didn’t have fun. Most of the things I was obsessed with a few years ago are over (some of my favorite book series, like Mara Dyer and Shatter Me ended last year.) I’ve been thinking a lot about endings.

Everything will end sometime. It doesn’t matter if it will be in a few years, a few months or a few days. When we’re children, we don’t look at the future a lot, and we don’t realize years pass faster than we believe. We didn’t realize that someday we would be older, in high school, in college, working. When they asked us what we would do when we were older, we answered honestly, but still thought an eternity would pass until the future happened. Now I realize that, even if I’m technically at the beginning of my life, I’m working towards my future, and that it is most definitely closer than I believe.

My uncle came to visit today, and he said something to my parents that stuck in my mind:

“We’re getting older, we’re not going to make any money anymore. I just want to live peacefully, and leave something for my children.”

Life ends, as well. I have dealt with this fact recently, and it is important to realize that nothing is forever. You have to seize the moment. Carpe Diem. I guess that’s what I want. To fulfill my goals and to someday say I’m happy with what I did in my life. To be satisfied with my actions and how I lived. Maybe I’ll still have this blog and I’ll be able to remind myself of how I thought at this time. Maybe, hopefully, I will realize I haven’t changed that much, or if I have, that it will be for the better.

Today’s my birthday!

Happy birthday to me!

I’m officially nineteen. I have not done much to change my life during the last year, apart from starting this blog. Starting SB&ST feels like a milestone, you know. I have realized how much I love writing and keeping a record of what I think at a certain moment. I have made new friends, left some behind, and I don’t regret any of my choices. One should never regret the past.

As for now, I want to start fresh, you know. New year, new life. Now that I’m nineteen, I have 19 goals I want to achieve (sooner or later)

1. Post more regularly, and about things relevant to other people.
2. Get my blog to be (if not famous) a smart thing to read, not just light reading.
3. Get my GPA up. Seriously, that is a must for me!
4. Start looking for internships. I will probably take a class this summer while I achieve goal #2.
5. Participate during my classes (And life in general)
6. Wear more dresses.
7. Spend less time online and socialize more.
8. Care less about everyone’s opinion of me.
9. Develop an opinion.
10. Share said opinion with the world.
11. Read more books.
12. Start a hobby (Preferrably a novel)
13. Get a job (at least during the summer)
14. Buy a car.
15. Be more independent.
16. Start saving for a London trip.
17. Exercise more.
18. Eat better.
19. In general, to Keep moving forward. This is my motto for my next year.

The reason why I started this blog.

I wrote this three or four months ago. It’s the true reason I wrote a blog, and I thought I might share it with you. 🙂

I have decided I’m going to be more open to feelings and towards people. Don’t get me wrong. I won’t tell everything about me to everyone that gets close to me. I just mean I’m going to be braver and I’m not going to be guided by first impressions or instincts. I could say that I will still follow my gut, but I will try to be more sociable… And awake.

I have been wrong too many times in the past. I can’t let my wrong impressions to guide me. That is why I’ve thought to keep a blog. Obviously my blog won’t be about my life. At least not most of it. I just want to have a record of what I will do the next year and so. Maybe it will let me guide myself and discover things about myself. It will also free my mind from this horrible writer’s block I’ve been going through. I thought about this idea while watching The Lizzie Bennet Diaries.

I also want my thoughts to be clearer and not be influenced my other people’s opinions. I have let that happen for too long. I guess my wake up call was when my friend told me I only did things to make other people happy, and that’s true. This is my hamartia, and I’m endeavoring to get past it.

I am also endeavoring not to get distracted from my goals. I want to be a professional. I want to be somebody and that will not happen if I don’t listen to myself. I want to be honest to both myself and my loved ones. This will be hard to achieve since I’ve hidden behind a lot of walls (books, music, the internet) and I don’t even know who I am anymore. I will become more awake from now on. I will study hard, be the person I can be, without any distractions.

When I went to that psychiatrist a year ago, I discovered something: I do not make eye contact with people. I hadn’t noticed that before he told me. It’s hard for me to communicate. It’s hard for me to follow people’s expectations of me. Sometimes I think I’m not as smart as other people think I am.

So I need to learn. I need to meet myself once and for all. I also need to start loving the true Nat, as no one will truly love me until I love myself.

Fast lane?

Some of my former classmates are married and have kids. Kids in plural. This is baffling for me, for a lot of reasons. I am still eighteen years old (almost nineteen), and I feel really young. I know I don’t count with the maturity to take care of children just yet. I don’t even know if I like children! (Well, some of them.) I’m barely starting college, for crying out loud! I am becoming more independent day by day, but that doesn’t mean I am ready to marry, have kids and have full responsibility. I need time to think and prepare for what is next. College is helping me with that.

In a couple of years, my former classmates might think I’m taking it too slow. I possibly am, but I have a lot of plans for my future, and they will take several years for me to achieve. I was talking with my mom about them, and I told her: “I don’t have time to read, how will I have time for someone else?”

People know that I’m very wary of giving people some of my reading time. Just imagine if I had to give them my study/research time! That’s a deal breaker for me. We would have to compromise. (I’m like Cristina Yang on that aspect.) Honestly, I need to work on some aspects of my life before welcoming someone else into it. That’s why I cannot afford to be on the fast lane. The “live fast, die young” thing doesn’t work for me. And it never will.

Goals.

Something that not many people tell us when we are little kids is that life changes, the plans you made and the life you imagined is not exactly what you will get when you grow up. Sometimes, when the time comes and it’s the moment to choose what we’ll do, we just do not know. Our image of what we would do changed drastically when we actually got to the place we wanted to be at.

This happened to me the exact day I arrived to Uni. I remember sitting in my Biology class wondering what I would do next. It’s not a lovely feeling, I might just tell you. All my life I dreamed with being a doctor and I then realized it might not be what I imagined. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a doctor anymore. I just realized there were many possibilities and I wanted to explore most of them before taking a major decision.

I thank my lucky stars everyday that I’m a Biology major, because that opens many possibilities for me, but now I’m just very confused. I enjoy many things about science in general. I like how everything in our bodies and nature just works out and let us live. Such an organization is beautiful, and I’m thankful because I get to understand it a little bit more everyday.

Right now, as I’m studying for my first Organic Chemistry test, I just know that I’m where I’m supposed to be, even if I’m so stressed all the time. I know it will be worth it in the end, whatever it will be. I still do not know what my goals are, and as I get closer and closer to my third year, I get a little more anxious. I am a little scared that not having a strict goal might affect my performance, no matter what I’m doing.

The thing is, perfection does not exist, and things are not ever going to be like you thought they would be. The thing to do is to learn to love it. If it is what you are meant to be doing, you will be fine. We will be fine.