Somehow, I’m back. *waves*

 

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When was the last time I posted? *checks*

Uh-oh. I can’t believe you’re still following me after my inactivity these past months! Still- I’m back! And I even changed my About page a bit *winks along with the hint*


The possible strike I mentioned in this post? Yep, it happened. And that’s why I took my last final last week. In JULY. Writing July on my class notes and exams was a surreal experience to say the least 🤗 but we survived… and my last grades were worth it. Even though I didn’t have to finish my degree to start classes in August.

It’s also why I’m graduating(!!!) in August instead of June, when we were still taking classes to catch up. My graduation is also the night before my orientations start at my new uni- so watch me try not to fall asleep the next day. I’ll try and keep you informed. 😂

I didn’t do much but read and watch TV shows during those 2 months I was at home -I even caught up with my Goodreads challenge… only to lose my winning streak when Uni started again. *shrugs* Let’s see if I can at least catch up during the next 3 weeks :3 I guess I should have caught up with my blogging as well, but it was my procrastinating self’s (read: my) fault.

I also decided on an apartment to live in for the next year while I study and met my two roommates. I have high hopes, people! I think it will be an Experience… even though I am honestly scared to death. I’ll really try to keep in touch the next months as I get used to the place and to being in a graduate school, living away from home… and to being called a student pharmacist. (eeeep!)

Stress… interviews and BEST VALENTINE’S DAY EVER

Hello, everyone! It has been a while (I always say this, but it’s true.)

Well, this post will be (kinda) long and divided into several parts. It was a long period of time since I posted, and I do want to catch up with everything that happened (Or at least some of it!)

(I do have awesome news at the end of the post )


January: The month when I kind of realized I’m graduating.

January passed without major events in my life. Uni started quite late, so I don’t have much to tell about it, except for the fact that…

I. Started. My. Last. Semester. As. An. UNDERGRAD. aka I’m GRADUATING THIS JUNE.

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**The actual date for graduation might vary because of strikes and stuff, but… it’s happening 🙂

I still can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe I applied for graduation! (I won’t be able to believe it even when I graduate!)

Okay, apart from this, January was uneventful. I spent the month quite anxious because I finished my Pharmcas application in December and I was waiting for an answer. Or at least the link for my supplemental application. The link arrived with January, and that was that! I told myself I was not expecting anything, I was just trying for the sake of trying. (I still checked my email everyday even when my phone got push notifications for every email) The end of January arrived along with news that one of my friends got an interview for the school I had applied to (Yes, school. As in ONE pharm school) and, even though I knew for a fact that he had applied at least a month before I did… I started losing hope (the small amount of hope I had allowed myself to feel).

February: “Whoa, is this really happening?”

February, the month of love, and valentines and the full expression of capitalism 🤣  arrived… and I tried to stop thinking about grad school. I am only taking three classes this semester and I had to at least try to make it count! Six days along, I was minding my own business… and I got it. An email for an interview.

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**My reaction went along somewhat like this.**

Still. The interview was three days after… and I was not prepared at all.

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I went to the mall, bought an outfit, read A LOT about interviews for college and how they went (along with info about my specific program) and I was as ready as I could be! So, fast forward three days later… I was on my way to my (hopefully) future university with my mom and my phone’s GPS.

We got there 2. Hours. Earlier, expecting to be able to park close to the building and wait. That was not possible… So the guard let me enter the building and I got to the office. (They were really nice but I was dreading the long wait). When I entered the office, there were two girls (women? Do I start saying women on this case? I still don’t feel like a woman O.o) . The point is… they looked professional. Ready to be interviewed and being successful in the future. I did NOT feel like that, so I just prayed that my interviewers were nice enough to a person who did not feel as qualified.

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The secretaries told a group of Pharmacy students to give me a tour, and I went along with them and asked them the questions I did not dared to ask during the Open House last June. (“Do I really have to buy an iPad?” Yes. “Do I have to wear a professional outfit all the time?” No, scrubs will do.) They were so nice (probably because they needed the points for a class they were taking, but they helped calm my stress so I appreciate it a lot). In the end they simply told me to go with the flow of the interview and that I would be fine. I went back to the office, met with the women who were going to be interviewed, and waited to be called. The secretary checked my transcripts and my data, told me everything was clear, and that was that.

The time of my interview finally arrived. To be honest, those 45 minutes were mostly a blur. I do remember them asking about my motivations (tricky question), about what defined me as a person and what frustrated people about me. (That one was particularly hard to answer.) They said to wait 3-4 weeks for a decision… and that was that. I got out, not entirely confident about what I had said, but really happy that they had been so nice and had listened to everything I said. My mom told me that even if buy any chance they didn’t accept me, I had a good experience. I would go through everything again. I felt comfortable, even after that stressful experience. 🙂

My friend had told me he received an answer days after his interview. I did not expect my situation to be the same. He does have better credentials (and GPA) than I do. I was willing to wait three weeks, after which I would probably start the process again. (And probably taking other exams to up my probabilites)

I woke up in Valentine’s Day particularly happy, for some reason. A lot of people asked me why I was so perky, and I really did not know. I mean… I was as single as the rest of the year. Perhaps it was the possibility of getting chocolate?

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I spent the day with my friends, had lots of fun (and candy. Lots of candy.) And my Physics class arrived along with the news that we would take a home test. (That was reason enough to be happy, right?)

And then I got it. THE email. I literally got out of my classroom with my phone, ran and tried to call my parents. They. Did. Not. Answer. I was literally shaking and almost cried. I told my friend… I was out of the classroom for about 15 minutes while I calmed down. I probably won’t ever forget Valentine’s Day. It will be impossible to forget the day when my life changed.

Well… these are the news I have for you. Somehow, I am enough. And I still don’t believe it. (And I probably won’t until I get there.) I will try to keep you informed of all the steps I have to take from now on.

I’m proud to officially announce I’m in the NSU College of Pharmacy, Class of 2021. GO SHARKS!

Bye bye, 2016.

2016, a year for the books, right? I’ve been thinking a lot about what to write… and now that we’re two hours away from saying goodbye (here in Puerto Rico, as I’m writing this), I guess it’s time to think about what happened to me during this… eventful year. Shall we?

This will be sort of a numbered post since I don’t have much time… 😀

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  1. First sleepover: Some of you will roll your eyes to the back of your head with this… but this was a milestone for me. Being invited let alone the fact that I was allowed to go? That was huge for me. That was one of the best nights of my life. I’m so glad it happened.
  2. PCAT: I took it. I survived. And I’m currently waiting after I submitted an application to a pharmacy school. Is this scary or what? That was also the time of my second sleepover. Will there be a time where I stop counting them?Resultado de imagen para grinning gif
  3. Time to get my GPA up! And it did. It totally did and now I’m finally competitive enough for at least a chance. I’m so happy… even though might not be enough, I’m still up for a fight.Resultado de imagen para fight gif
  4. Turning 21: It was not as exciting as how many people experience. Probably because I don’t drink? But it was still a milestone. And what made it a happy day for me was that my friends actually remembered and made it special.Resultado de imagen para aww gif
  5. And as for the sad part, more death in my family. I still have no clue why this all keeps happening… but it did. Again. And the distance between my extended family and I feels kind of unsurmountable right now. Let’s hope for new beginnings next year? Resultado de imagen para skeptical gif
  6. (NOT) finishing my goal amount of books? I accepted some months ago that I wouldn’t make it this year. These past semesters were kind of brutal… I am lucky I could finish SOME books… I’m hoping this perpetual slump could end ANY minute now…Resultado de imagen para sigh gif
  7. Becoming obsessed with k-Dramas. It was bound to happen. *shrugs* I can’t imagine myself without them now.Resultado de imagen para goblin kdrama gif
  8. Speaking of obsessions…

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I wanted to say something else, too, before the year ends. I missed lots of things, things I could have blogged about… and I did not. I could say I did my best for my blog, but I didn’t. I am not going to promise to post more. It would be pointless… But I’m still going to try. I deserve it, and you deserve it too. 2017 is so important, you see. I FINALLY graduate during next year! And whatever happens… I want to share this next stage with you all. Like I said, I’m going to try. Let’s see how it goes.

Signing off for the year;

Nat.

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P.S. 2016 IS FINALLY OVER, BITCHES!!!

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Catching Up! :)

It’s been a while, WordPress. I’ll refrain from apologizing… maybe read my last post (if you are wondering why) 🙂

Still, I did not post during certain important days and that’s kinda sad. Last semester was full of work… I did tell you that I was taking an unusually big amount of classes -BUT I SURVIVED!yy2

Let the catching up begin!  


I still haven’t quite recovered… although my grades were something else! (I mean… for a semester when so much happened to me) I still have no clue as to how that was possible, but I’m thankful. I’m so, so thankful. I also missed posting on my birthday (my 21st birthday…) which I spent at uni taking classes… and since my brother was sick, I couldn’t do much but eat pizza that night. (Needless to say, pizza was more than enough for me)

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But it was definitely okay… my friends were there and they did not forget and it was a really nice day. I had a happy birthday… even when I had to take biochemistry.

Apart from my birthday, though, November was FULL. OF. WORK. Like… I did not think it would all end, until it somehow did.

In the spirit of wrapping up this semester  (and forgetting that it ever happened). (yeah, right), a class by class round up:

  • Biochemistry- taking it was… interesting. Basically full of self-study… since… well… I didn’t understand anything while taking it. 😀 My professor gave me a letter of reference, though, which was definitely awesome. 🙂 (Also full of memes and gifs my friends and I sent to each other while taking it xD)
  • Statistics- This gif will suffice. There was no time for this and I studied the day before for all my tests.

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  • Economics-

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My professor was sick and he was absent basically all semester so he only sent us two projects. Life. 

  • Life cycle seminar: “The professor you chose will not give you your class! The hardest one will!” “Let’s get all into groups to talk about how our cousins and aunts and parents somehow relate to the topic that we’re covering!” “Let’s do a portfolio about health service centers that’s worth 45% of your class grade!” “Let’s not forget about sending your professor your project at the wrong email and finding out an hour later!” Don’t ask me how, but it all worked out in the end. I still don’t know what happened.
  • Conversational English- Incredibly… It was my favorite class this semester. I was so worried about the presentations and the dialogues and I was regretting choosing it from day 1, until I met my professor and my group. It was our safe space this semester… no judgement, and everyone was so kind to one another! If I could take it again I would in a heartbeat. 🙂
  • Developmental Psychology- I was so confident I would get an A at first… and then the second and third exams happened. xD I spent hours  working on that final project, and it all somehow worked out in the end. *basically cries with relief*

Aaaaaand, the round-up is over! Which means where back to present day. Which probably could mean one thing: Stray thoughts:

Christmas has been great; Dad is here until the 4th, I’ve been watching k-dramas and movies during these past 2 weeks…! I’ve taken lots of pictures and even posted some of them. Everything is awesome… except for… the slumpI have not been able to finish a new book since I read Ari and Dante a month ago. (Except for “The Rest of Us Just Live Here”, but it was so meh that it does not even count… sorry.)

*By the way, guys? You should totally read Ari and Dante. It’s beautiful!*

Still, today I worked with my Goodreads shelves and loaded a couple of books to my Kindle. Let’s see if I can get out of this slump.

Also, did anyone watch the Sense8 Christmas special? That was AMAZING! And I can’t wait until May when I’ll probably binge watch the whole season in one sitting. I’m also anxiously waiting for season 4 of Sherlock and will probably watch it along with my friend. 🙂

If you’ve somehow read until the end of this post, thank you, and I hope you had a Merry Christmas. 🙂

… *Sings* And a Happy New Year!

Apologies.

Greetings. *dances my way into your Reader*

I’m back. You didn’t expect to hear (or read, for that matter) from me so soon, did you? *winks* I’m pretty sure this post won’t be as messy as the last one.

I also forgot to acknowledge that my (second!!) blogging anniversary was this past August. This has been a wild ride and I can’t wait for what awaits us, my dear followers!


I have been thinking a lot about apologies and forgiveness lately. Sincere apologies are hard to come up with, unless you’re talking about me. (read my previous posts, for example. You’ll see most of them tagged with some sort of apology. 🙂 )

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Me, 99.9% of the time.

I apologize about literally everything, from sneezing to accidentally bumping with someone. It’s second nature to me. It’s a wonder I don’t apologize for breathing!

There were lots of times when I apologized for things that were either:

  1. Outside my control
  2. Part of who I am as a person

I have recently understood why I’m like this. It has to do with the fact that I always believed I was less than everyone else. Less smart, less clever, less funny. I felt like everyone had this chip or programming that helped them act on certain situations, and I didn’t. Others simply knew better and I had no choice but to follow. I did not understand why people acted in a certain way.

It was frustrating to always wonder why I was alone. This was why I felt like I did not deserve to have friends (or at least, that I had to come out of my usual behavior or way of thinking to have them.) I felt like I had to apologize for simply hanging out with them. Or stop being myself, in a way. More than one person has expressed their concern about this to me. Someone literally said they hated hearing the words “I’m sorry” from me.

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their reaction when I immediately apologized for apologizing too much

And I got why. Eventually.

“Apologizing does not always mean you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego.”
― Mark Matthews

This quote has much to do with my previous MO when it came to apologies (even though I hadn’t read it before researching for this post). I say previous, because these past few years, I’ve learned a LOT about myself. I’ve learned what I like and what I don’t. Most important of all, I’ve learned that I don’t like feeling like less than other people. And most of the time I valued relationships/friendships more than I valued myself! I did not realize how much I was hurting myself. Having to apologize frequently… it took a bit of myself every time I did it.

Don’t get me wrong, there are times when an apology is needed. When not apologizing makes you literally an asshole. The person who apologizes shouldn’t feel pressed by the one who will receive the apology, though. (By this, I mean: you can tell the person directly that you feel hurt by what they did… after explaining what they did. But the apology should come directly from that person.) The whole point of the apology is that it has to be genuine, sincere… and pushing someone to apologize would take that away from it. It would be wrong, in a way.

Still, an apology is always a good way to fix things, and it’s nice to know that a genuine one can help rebuild a relationship. 🙂


I am aware that this post might make me sound sort of selfish, but I’ve realized these things about myself along the way… and this blog is all about discovering myself. It’s interesting how, even being almost 21 years old, I keep discovering things I did not know, and somehow growing into a person I did not expect becoming… even though I sometimes realize I’m not as good a person as I thought before. Thanks for reading! 

Any thoughts? Suggestions? The comments are open! 🙂

*gasps* A new post.

Welcome back to my blog! I’ve been deep into the study- and-KDrama-watching cave (If you follow me on Twitter, you should know that I’m basically obsessed with Moonlight Drawn by Clouds. Sorry to all of those who find it a bit lacking? I don’t! *is hopelessly in love with Park Bo Gum*). So that’s why I have not been here… since JULY. I’m here to basically procrastinate before studying for my statistics exam! On the bright side, you get to read about me…! I don’t think that is truly a bright side… but still… It’s so good you’re here!

PS. I’m aware there was a new post alert during the past week… I posted something by mistake and deleted it quite quickly 🙂  


You might be wondering (probably not): What has Nat been up to these days?

The answer is… about everything and nothing all at once. I might have to divide this post in sub posts… If I don’t this might get messy. 🙂

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I took my PCAT.

(I did tell you I was going to try to be an adult these months… I am turning 21 this November, you know) Remember how I said I would study a lot? And exercise a lot?

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And you probably reacted like this?

I only got to General Chemistry and worked from there. But my results were quite good! So I still haven’t lost my touch. (Except for Math.)

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I should have written a post after taking the PCAT. It was honestly an experience. At first we couldn’t reach the place because our GPS wasn’t working. We got there 15 minutes before my friend’s testing window began. I had 15 more minutes to prepare… and then it was my turn. (We shall NOT talk about the picture they took of me. It was honestly awful).

Those next four hours are now pretty much a blur… but I remember being so anxious because I was running out of time at so many of the sections! TWO of the lectures on my Critical Reading section had to do with literature. That was nice, especially as they had to do with culture and what could be considered as a national literature. I was honestly so interested on that topic!

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I basically smiled like this. The proctor must have been quite worried about my mental sanity.

And then Math arrived. Those were pretty much the worst 45 minutes of my life… only overran by my first Pre-calculus 2 test on my freshman year. Oh, boy, was that a disaster. Although I could have done a bit worse? I have no idea.

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My friend and I went to eat afterwards… and then arrived to a mass/baptism/wedding. -At first I thought it would be so long and I was so tired already…! But my romantic side came out quite quickly, the wedding was so cute, and seeing them be so excited about marrying? That made me so happy, even if I had no idea who they were. -We then got to my friend’s home and watched movies and Coffee Prince. It was nice. (And I cried with one of those movies. María, I know you’re reading this. I still hate you. :D)

So I’m now working on my application. (oh, well… I started it today. Happy?) I still have to ask two of my professors for letters of reference… and that scares me to no end. I mean, who should I ask? I don’t think any of my professors likes me enough to make a nice one for me. I’ll try, though. Maybe one of them can surprise me. I also have to write an essay! I need to see if my writing skills are up to par with what they are asking for! 🙂

Blackouts and funerals

There was this huge blackout in Puerto Rico. You MUST have heard about it on the news (or at least seen it somehow online?) It lasted about 2 days and a half and people either played Pokémon Go on the streets or watched the stars. They looked amazing! There are beautiful pictures people posted online because there wasn’t any light pollution. I basically used my family’s flashlight to reread The Assassin’s Blade and rest. (I had not rested at all during the PCAT weekend. I was exhausted).

The day after it started, I got the news: My aunt (she was my deceased aunt’s twin sister) had died that morning, and I hadn’t found out because we were all out of battery. So my dad called from Texas, and both my grandma and my aunt’s sister arrived at the same time. That was when I realized something was wrong. I literally started shaking, and my mom couldn’t stop crying. I think that moment will be stuck in my mind for the rest of my life… especially as it was only 4 days since my grandma’s death anniversary. My dad came home for a week, then, after I booked his tickets. It was nice, since he’ll come back again this Christmas. I mean, the circumstances were rough but there was a bright side to all of this.

Stray thoughts…

So… basically, some things have changed, but a lot has stayed the same. I’m taking six classes this semester. (Please remind me of WHY I took this decision?) Some of them are easy, some of them are harder, but all of them take too much time from my hands! Time I could be using for blogging… (Who am I kidding? I would use it to be online, watching TV shows or reading.

I’m also still quite excited about my Instax camera! It feels like I’m creating these tangible memories when I take those pictures. I’m planning on decorating one of the walls of my room and fill it with instant photos. Be sure to follow me on Instagram to see if I follow through with that promise. 🙂

So here I am… listening to the Descendants of the Sun soundtrack and simply writing to procrastinate. I might have some more things to say quite soon, so please come back and check if I have posted my latest rant.

*signs off with a Park Bo Gum gif*

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Sleepovers, Scares and Staying at a Hotel

Well, people, it’s been a while…

 

I’m blogging from my study cave. (Yes, you read me right. Studying. In July… but don’t be sad for me, I literally started studying today. I’m okay, and procrastinating healthily while blogging) The time has come to prepare myself for the PCAT… a test that will probably define my whole future, but no big deal! *laughs nervously*

Being an adult is scary. I’m not even kidding, I haven’t been more nervous than the night I applied to take the PCAT. It’s not that bad, though. I don’t exactly have to get up early, which means I can work with my schedule, and I plan on studying with my friends. My vacations haven’t exactly been uneventful. I got really scared for a week or two while I didn’t know if I would have to get surgery… If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that it was, thankfully, a false alarm, and I got off with a December appointment and an order to exercise and eat better… (bye bye, pizza weekends!) … Right after I got that order I went to an hotel and basically broke that rule for two whole days, but I was saying goodbye! Don’t judge! 😀

 

(Yes, that’s my hair. Yes, that’s Graceling, AKA my favorite book in the whole world) I posted most of my pictures/videos on Snapchat (fearlesslynat, like the blog, just in case you were wondering :D)

These past days were amazing… And they weren’t the only thing I’ve done this summer! I finally had my first sleepover at María‘s on her birthday, and it was fairly one of the best days ever 🙂

 

 

 

Now that I told you about everything that has happened, more or less, I guess I can also tell you about movies/books/tv shows, right?

A month ago I told you I was watching Les Interpretes, right? It had a kind of disappointing ending, to be honest. It had such a promising beginning, and it had to end like that… *groans*. I wasn’t expecting more of the other one I was watching, which was good, because the ending wasn’t good, either. That’s why I ended up watching Descendants of the Sun… twice. Now I’m watching Beautiful Mind, Doctors and Lucky Romance… which are good… so far. I am up to date with Game of Thrones as well, which means I can read Pat‘s posts without fear of spoilers. Life is good, really.

I’ve also tried to catch up with my reading… but I only read Lady Midnight (I finished it!!) and started Graceling. I’m waiting for my friend to give A Court of Mist and Fury to me… I’m really excited about it because (1) Sarah J. Maas, duh. and (2) IT’S SIGNED! Which is basically a dream come true… although I still want to meet her someday.

Anyway, I think this was a nice update, and hopefully I’ll meet you again soon while I try to distract myself from Biology and *shudders* organic chemistry… *waves*