Quick update!

First of all, sorry about not blogging this week. I was having this awful cold, and was a little stressed. You see, I got my grades!

** if I were a vlogger, I would insert my opening here** 😀

If you have followed my blog for the past few weeks, you know that I had an Organic Chem exam last Friday. I got my grade yesterday, and it was surprisingly good! Especially if you saw the awful graphs the professor showed us before giving us the exam. Seriously, they were depressing. When I got my test, I was about to jump from happiness then and there. The other professors were also complaining about our performance in that test. I personally think it wasn’t that hard. I knew which answers I had gotten wrong.

I also had a Social Sciences test two weeks ago and I got my grade yesterday, but that really doesn’t count, does it? I don’t really have enough space to think in that class. (I made a decision about that. I’m going to be thankful to have time for my other classes) By the way, it was a good grade. I just don’t feel like celebrating for nothing.

In other news, I am in process of applying for summer internships and looking for professors that are kind (and possibly crazy) enough to give me some recommendation letters. I scored one last Wednesday! (Now I have some more to go. Possibly my current Biology lab professor… *thinks deeply*

P.S. I’m so sorry. I know I only blog about college and how it’s working for me. I just need a release from everything! I shall think about other topics… Soon! I promise! 😀

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What if?: Destiny and Dreams.

One of my best friends in college is thinking about giving up with one of my classes and repeat it later. She’s thinking about changing her major and is a bit confused, since she still has to take a lot of math classes. Thing is, I think she loves what she’s doing right now and I think she might regret this decision later. My mom took that decision before. She had a good reason to abandon her career, since my grandpa was sick and she had to take care of him. She also says she was really tired and her study conditions were not the best. I’m sure she does not regret her decisions, but I wonder if she ever thinks: “what if?”

My mother loves science, as much or even more as I do. She knows a lot about what I’m studying and I can almost always use her as a reference. She never got back around to finishing her BA in Science and she was so close! She’s happy, though, and she became a teacher and got to help students to realize they wanted a career in Science. It’s actually amazing to have a teacher that inspires you and I love my mom got to be that for her students.

I actually have a point here. My point is that there’s no reason to give up your dreams… Unless it’s not your dream anymore. No matter if it’s a year or twenty years later, we all deserve happiness and to fulfill our destinies. Sometimes destiny is not what you expect, though, so if my friend wants to change her major because she likes Psychology better, then she should go for it! But if she is doing it to escape some harder classes, she should think it better. Escaping is never an option. We should face our challenges head on!

A Magical Night.

Tonight was one of the best nights of my life.

I had an exam today. I studied a lot and it was easier than I thought. But what happened after the exam was magical. At first we didn’t know what to do. We wanted to do something to celebrate, maybe just eat some ice cream. But then my friend put her music on and we stayed, singing, dancing, laughing and having this amazing time. It just started with her just showing us her new speakers on her car and people just started arriving! It was like this bubble where we had no worries, no responsibilities. Nothing apart from that moment existed. We had even forgot about having to leave soon, since it was night already. An hour passed, and we didn’t even notice it. All of this happened in my university’s parking.

It was an amazing feeling. I don’t even know how to describe it with words. Possibly it was just sheer, pure happiness from spending time with friends. I hadn’t felt this way in years! I felt free. For the first time in a while, I felt young.

I didn’t know what Charlie from the Perks of Being a Wallflower meant until now. In that moment, I swear we were infinite.

10 Good Things About My Life

I just noticed my last few blog posts have been kind of depressing and stressful. *insert sad smiley* This is why I thought about writing this blog post. No matter how much life brings you down, there’s always something to be grateful, and happy, for.

1. I have an amazing family.
They are funny, smart and supportive. Sometimes even more than I deserve to have. I am so grateful for them everyday, even if I might not show it.

2. I’m studying what I love.
I might have my doubts about what I will do in the future, but I certainly do love what I’m studying. Biology is one of the most beautiful things in this world. It helps you understand everything around you in such a way, that you just want more knowledge. I just love Science!

3. Books!
My love for books is so big it needs its own number. Books are so important to me and they have helped me become who I am. They have also made me realize how I can achieve my goals.

4. Music
Music always makes me feel better, no matter what I’m feeling. I could be going through a really rough time, and if there’s a song that I like on the radio, I will sing it with my soul! Also, music helps me study and concentrate.

5. Friends.
I don’t think I will ever be grateful enough for the people I can call friends. They are always there, they notice when I’m sad or just don’t feel like doing anything. They just understand… And that’s something not many people have. I appreciate it a lot.

6. Dreams

This one has a lot to do with number 2, but this one is about dreams in general. Dreams give us something to believe in, something to fight for. Dreams are the thread of life, actually, and I’m glad I have some dreams and goals to be fierce about.

7. A Singing Voice (Kidding!! xD)

I cannot sing to save my life! I’m oddly thankful about that, because it somehow defines me, and gives my friends something to laugh about.

8. Life in general.

Life is a beautiful thing, with its twists and turns. Without them, it wouldn’t be interesting. That is why we have to look at the positive side of things. We must learn something about everything that happens to us.

9. Sasha

As you might have seen in my About page, Sasha’s my pug. She’s my favorite thing on Earth. She’s so happy and loving, and I love her so much!!

10. Being myself!

Being myself is the thing I’m thankful the most for. I love my life so much. I might complain a lot, but basically there’s not a thing I would change about it (especially when it comes to myself). I might be many things, but I know I’m a good person, and I’m proud of it. I love being Nat!!

Love: My inexperience in that matter.

One of the things I have thought about the most throughout my life is the fact that I have never truly fallen in love. I mean, I have had crushes, yes, but I realize I am afraid of attaching myself to a person in that magnitude. I definitely wish I could get over that fear, especially as I’m getting older.

I don’t know if I should say this in my blog, but I’ve never been in a relationship. In fact, I’ve never even kissed anyone. I crave that kind of closeness, and I don’t know how to achieve it. People around me are all outgoing, believing in themselves, throwing themselves out there in the best possible way, and yet I’m stuck. I don’t know how to accept myself with all my flaws.

How can I accept someone else?
How can anyone accept me?

These are some of my thoughts, and my main reasons to be afraid.
I certainly wish I can one day fall in love, and realize it was as beautiful as I have always believed. I have read lots of books about love, read about hundreds of people falling in love, out of love and their reasons to do so. Then again, they’re fictional. Love is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, and I want to live it for myself. I think I deserve it.

stress stress STRESS.

As I get closer to my first Organic Chemistry exam -this Friday-, I’m realizing I am in no way ready for what it is about to come.

I have been reading the PPTs, watched some videos (from Khan Academy. They are GOOD) and started reading the book. I still do not feel ready. I guess I never will, not even an hour before the exam, but I don’t know how to handle this many stress. I usually just stop doing whatever I’m doing and start reading -which helps, until I realize I am procrastinating, and therefore wasting precious time I won’t get back-.

I know stress is a normal part of life, but this class is affecting me a little more than usual.

I still have to do the exercises I was assigned, but I do not know if I will do them right. I mean, I trust my instincts and I know I will not fail, but this class is scaring me a little.

If you have some tips for studying Chemistry, I’ll appreciate them a lot.

Thanks for listening.

x

Do We Live Or Exist?

Sometimes we just got to live…
Life is more than pictures and posts. ^.^

A WORRIED STUDENT

Do we live anymore or do we just exist? Existing to record every opportunity where we could have lived yet chose to simply exist?

That beautiful sunset on holiday when you decided to message your friends about how amazing it all looked whilst you yourself forgot to enjoy its beauty until you glanced up from your phone to see the sun had sunk between the clouds. Opportunity wasted.

That time where you were on the beach but instead of exploring the sensations of the sea you remained cocooned in your digital world and the only thing your fingertips felt was the cold dull glass of your touchscreen box of existence.

Exisiting to record things without any purpose. Is this what we have become? Snaps of this, snaps of that and with a touch of a button strangers all over the world see the sight before us yet they may receive…

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Goals.

Something that not many people tell us when we are little kids is that life changes, the plans you made and the life you imagined is not exactly what you will get when you grow up. Sometimes, when the time comes and it’s the moment to choose what we’ll do, we just do not know. Our image of what we would do changed drastically when we actually got to the place we wanted to be at.

This happened to me the exact day I arrived to Uni. I remember sitting in my Biology class wondering what I would do next. It’s not a lovely feeling, I might just tell you. All my life I dreamed with being a doctor and I then realized it might not be what I imagined. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be a doctor anymore. I just realized there were many possibilities and I wanted to explore most of them before taking a major decision.

I thank my lucky stars everyday that I’m a Biology major, because that opens many possibilities for me, but now I’m just very confused. I enjoy many things about science in general. I like how everything in our bodies and nature just works out and let us live. Such an organization is beautiful, and I’m thankful because I get to understand it a little bit more everyday.

Right now, as I’m studying for my first Organic Chemistry test, I just know that I’m where I’m supposed to be, even if I’m so stressed all the time. I know it will be worth it in the end, whatever it will be. I still do not know what my goals are, and as I get closer and closer to my third year, I get a little more anxious. I am a little scared that not having a strict goal might affect my performance, no matter what I’m doing.

The thing is, perfection does not exist, and things are not ever going to be like you thought they would be. The thing to do is to learn to love it. If it is what you are meant to be doing, you will be fine. We will be fine.

Social Life.

If by some chance you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen my mini-rant about someone from my family telling me I do not have a social life. I say social life is a very relative term.

Maybe she doesn’t know that I have dear friends in college. Maybe she doesn’t know that they are going through the same experiences I am. Maybe she just doesn’t know that the words “social life” are quite a sore topic for me.

Some years ago, I went through a really rough time where I truly believed I had no friends outside my family. No one actually cared, or so I thought. When I got mature enough, I realized that the fact that I’m different doesn’t mean I have to be friendless. That’s where high school and college went in. Maybe I had more of a responsibility, but I met people like me.

My family member likes a certainly different environment. My family is really big and they reunite once in a while. I just don’t have enough time, and they seem to think it’s my choice. Maybe it is, though. Maybe I’m deciding to fight for myself. Life is more than partying. It’s about fighting for your dreams and actually having fun while you are doing it, with people you love around you.

No matter how many classes I take or reunions I miss, I will always have a group of people I will call my friends and family. Isn’t that the true meaning of a social life?

 

 

 

“Never be afraid to try something new because life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know.”

Call Me "Q"

Yes. Just yes. I always try to do things I’m not used to and I try to get others to do so as well. It’s no fun staying in your comfort zone, especially when that space is so small. Try your best to be open minded to things you have no experience in, you may find you enjoy it more than you thought you would (:

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