I miss her.

Hello, people that follow my blog! This is a sad one, but it is also short. I hope you don’t mind.

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My aunt died today. I haven’t cried, I haven’t screamed, I haven’t showed any kind of emotion. All I feel is guilt. Why? Because I didn’t express my love towards her a lot lately. And I loved her, a lot. I regret not spending time with her. When I found out she had had a heart attack last Monday, I had resolved to spend more time with her. To work with her, to get to know her more. That’s after I stopped thinking in anatomical and physiological terms, of course. Because that’s me.

Anyway, last Thanksgiving, she and my uncle threw a party. Almost all my family went there, and I didn’t go because I was studying for finals and I was seriously tired from the test I had the day before. (Excuses, excuses, I know). That’s my defense mechanism… For a while today I thought I didn’t have any feelings, then I realized I just haven’t been able to imagine life without her. I just wish I had spent more time with her, I wish she knew how much I loved her, and how much I will miss seeing her work when I drove around my neighborhood.

Today, my family was united in a way I hadn’t seen in years. The fact that it happened because of this is sad, but I hope it stays this way. Losing someone that you care about is sad enough without knowing you could have done more for them. I hope I learned my lesson.

Say I love you once in a while, tell your family, tell your friends. Spend time with them, because you don’t know how much time you have left.

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