One of the things I have thought about the most throughout my life is the fact that I have never truly fallen in love. I mean, I have had crushes, yes, but I realize I am afraid of attaching myself to a person in that magnitude. I definitely wish I could get over that fear, especially as I’m getting older.
I don’t know if I should say this in my blog, but I’ve never been in a relationship. In fact, I’ve never even kissed anyone. I crave that kind of closeness, and I don’t know how to achieve it. People around me are all outgoing, believing in themselves, throwing themselves out there in the best possible way, and yet I’m stuck. I don’t know how to accept myself with all my flaws.
How can I accept someone else?
How can anyone accept me?
These are some of my thoughts, and my main reasons to be afraid.
I certainly wish I can one day fall in love, and realize it was as beautiful as I have always believed. I have read lots of books about love, read about hundreds of people falling in love, out of love and their reasons to do so. Then again, they’re fictional. Love is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world, and I want to live it for myself. I think I deserve it.